The Never-Ending Story of My Weight Struggles

Susan Wenner Jackson is a 33-year-old mother of two, living with her husband in Cincinnati, Ohio. She blogs at and runs her own writing and social media business.

In 33 years, I’ve learned a few things about losing, gaining and maintaining weight. For people like me who have “what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem” (as Chris Farley put it in Tommy Boy), the struggle never ends. It may get easier for a while, or harder as the years go by. It may even go into hiding for a brief time – just long enough to lull you into a false sense of security that you’re finally free! Obesity will never trouble you again!

And theeeeen, you’re right back where you started on the scale – or worse, heavier than where you started – and wondering if you’ll ever get the upper hand again.

Currently, I’m staring down a huge mountain made of the 80 pounds of fat I desperately want to be rid of. Two years ago at this time, I was on top of the world with a 60-pound loss that made me look and feel like Queen Skinny Mama (hear her roar). And prior to that, I’d experienced numerous ups and downs with my weight.

Every time I’ve achieved significant weight loss in the past, I fell into the same trap of feeling like I’d “arrived.” With my guard down, old habits quickly took over the healthy ones that helped me slim down. And even as I knew I was gaining (pants that refuse to button or zip are always the first to tell), I felt powerless to stop. Until one day, something happened and I realized with a sigh, “Here we go again. Time to lose some weight.”

I wish I could say this time will be different. I’m doing all the right things: tracking my food (by now, I know exactly what I should be eating), working out at a gym with a trainer (this is a new one), and seeking support from friends and family who are on my side. But I also have to accept that this battle with weight won’t be over when I hit my goal. It’s a lifelong journey for me and my fat, and I’ve got to live with it.

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