Many people work incredibly hard to lose weight. They diet, exercise, struggle and sacrifice to become a more fit, healthy individual. They might do so with a support team, use Weight Watchers, follow South Beach, or create their own plan. They often find, though, that once they’ve lost the weight, their spouse of significant other is mad, upset or incredibly enough, jealous. They might experience unkind comments, sabotage with former “favored” foods, and even accusations of infidelity and betrayal.
Don’t laugh – it happens more often than you might think. How can you handle such an uncomfortable situation at a time when you really want to feel supported and encouraged?
Remember, you are losing weight for you. Or you should be. Losing weight for someone else rarely works and can often backfire. Your successful weight loss can uncover feelings of insecurity that your spouse might not even know existed. Take the time to listen to what your significant other has to say. Maybe there is an infidelity in their past. Maybe your weight loss brings a need for their own weight loss into focus. There might be history with a parent or other loved one that is weight related.
Ask your spouse to go to counseling with you. Do it for your relationship, but know that you can’t change his or her feelings. The insecurity is not your fault – you don’t own any part of it. Your spouse loved you heavy, and you aren’t any less lovable at a healthy weight. Know that deep inside, and don’t allow anyone to sabotage you and undo your incredible hard work.
August 14th, 2009