Life after “The Biggest Loser” has proven quite interesting. I’m discovering new things about myself daily. For example, my head is not too small for my body, it’s actually proportionate. Or, realizing that I don’t have to stress out about whether a waiter is going to sit me at a table or a booth. Or, better yet, the fact that I can actually see my feet without the assistance of a mirror, which by the way, are not as small as I thought they were!
Now these things initially may seem cliché, but the truth is, they were all very real concerns of mine when I was living life at a heavier weight, they were just a few of the unspoken fears that actually governed my day-to-day life. So the question now is, “Given this new lease on life, this new body, and brand new wardrobe with clothes that are now labeled medium instead of XXL, who am I?”
I know this might sound strange and to a certain extent ungrateful, being that I spent many a night praying for this sort of a dilemma. However, the truth is getting to know myself minus the protective barrier I carried for so long is both extremely frightening as well as incredibly exciting! When I share with people the fact that I lost 130 pounds while on the show their response is “Wow, you lost an entire person!” to which I usually respond, “Yes, I did” and continue about my day.
However recently I have been thinking more and more about this conversation and I am realizing that I did lose an entire person- both literally and figuratively. Given this realization, I am now faced with the challenge of grieving the loss of the old Bernie and acquainting myself with the smaller reality of a new me.
In addition to living this new healthy life, I’m passionate about giving back to our community at large. From time to time I’ll share causes that I find worthwhile. The Give Shirt is one that helps a variety of charities and let’s you keep the shirt off your back.
June 5th, 2008