I fell off the wagon. It’s been one of those weeks. One of the weeks where everything hits all at once, when you can’t keep up, stress levels are high, you’re running on adrenaline, and I didn’t have any caffeine for a week. My mind is racing at full speed, but my body is tired. I have just been trying to keep up with e-mail and questions on social media, and hoping things slow down so I can get more work done.
It is probably a combination of comfort and necessity, making sure that I am able to eat in between appointments and rushing from one to the next across town, that instigated tonight’s stop at Arby’s. Before I had gotten halfway through my sandwich, I realized just how long it had been since I have eaten fast food. My body is not prepared for it any longer. I will likely feel ill as a result. Yes, even the experts that blog about health, run half marathons, and make weekly trips to the farmer’s market can fall of the wagon at times and be tested by the ease and comfort of fast food.
I am not going to ask for your forgiveness; I will, however, asked for my own forgiveness. We are all human; you have to allow yourself to make mistakes. Even if your body doesn’t remind you why you have given up fast food, or started running, or started eating breakfast… falling off the wagon does not have to be an end to the change in your behavior. You do not have to give up on your self. Even if I can rationalize the reason why I made the choice to drive through Arby’s, it does not mean it was a good choice for me to make. I do not have to continue making similar choices just because I fell off the wagon once.
I fell off the wagon, but I am getting right back on. Tomorrow, I will make sure that I have an apple and plenty of raw almonds to get me through the day. If my stomach hurts, it may be easier to remember. If it does not, then there is even more reason for me to avoid those things to which I do not want my body accustomed. I am not going to punish myself by forcing an extra hour of cardio. If I exhaust myself, I may be tempted again to find some comfort in food or overeat. I may have fallen off the wagon, but I am just going to get right back on (and so can you).
February 21st, 2010