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Jim Gaffigan’s Hilarious Food Rules for Everyone Not to Live by

food-love-story

Jim Gaffigan recently recently his second book entitled Food: A Love Story. Gaffigan, if you are unfamiliar with his brand of humor, is a hilarious, honest, satirical comedian. He previously wrote the book Dad is Fat, in which he reels on fatherhood with five young children. And in similar fashion in his newest release, Gaffigan has his readers rolling with his honest take on food. He says the things we all may be thinking, but we all may not be saying. Gaffigan explores everything from American food consumption to the questionable purpose of kale.

Though the entire book is quotable, we probably can’t republish it here. So we’re sharing a few of Gaffigan’s best food rules to abide by. (Or, to not abide by, but to at least laugh at.)

Jim Gaffigan’s Hilarious Food Rules for Everyone

1. Never take advice from skinny people.

“When a thin person announces, “Here’s a great taco place,” I kind of shut down a little. How do they know it’s so great? From smelling the tacos?”

Now maybe this isn’t fair. Of course there are plenty of skinny people who know great food when they taste it, and of course there are plenty of skinny people that like particular foods that other not-so-skinny people might also enjoy. The point is, Gaffigan’s point is hilarious.

2. Steak is a big deal.

“…because consuming a steak is one of the great pleasures we get to experience during our short time on this planet.”

Gaffigan describes his confusion toward his father’s love for steak as a child, though he touchingly concludes just why it was so important to him throughout his life. Steak can be particularly fancy, and I think we all know that.

3. Gravy is not a beverage.

Our eyes met, and he gave me a warm Midwestern smile as if to say, “Hey, how’s it going?” I nodded and said hello and was only a bit more than slightly tempted to exclaim, “You realize you’re drinking gravy, right?”

Gaffigan pokes a lot of fun at Midwesterners, a title he himself holds, and though I must add that not all Midwest-residents probably drink gravy, this story is too good to pass up. It’s one of the best LOL anecdotes in the entire book!
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11 Recipes That Will Convince You to Try the Veggies You Love to Hate

Kids are notorious for it, but there are still plenty of adults who struggle to eat their vegetables. However, the time has come to move on from the idea that vegetables beyond potatoes, carrots and green beans are “yucky,” and expand our palates.

We want to set the record straight for some of the least-loved vegetables (and one fruit) and encourage you to give them a chance. All are packed with nutrients, and are a healthy addition to any diet. We’ll start you down your new vegetable-eating path by providing some recipe suggestions that are so good, you won’t want to pick out the previously-offensive veggies.

Look at this list as your own personal vegetable challenge. Try a new one at least once a week, and you may be surprised which formerly condemned veggies become new favorites!

chicken broccoli

Broccoli

It’s hard to say if the “little trees” nickname helps or hurts broccoli’s appeal. Regardless, the vegetable is packed with vitamin K, important for blood clotting, and can be enjoyed raw or cooked. Ease your way into eating broccoli by combining it with foods you already like.

Try it mixed into your stir-fry for added flavor, fiber, bulk, and color!

 

beets

Beets

A beet’s color may be the prettiest in mother nature’s palette. This nutrient-rich root veggie is also full of carbohydrates, which means they can be a great way of boosting your energy without a sugar crash later. Beets are chock full of many nutrients including calcium, iron and vitamins A and C.

Try it in our amazing Harvest Chopped Salad.
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21 Recipes and Ways to Clean Out the Summer Garden Surplus in Your Backyard

The summer growing season may be nearing its end, but your garden is probably just hitting its peak production! You can only personally eat so many tomatoes, cucumbers, cantaloupe, and zucchini. Your neighbors and co-workers will only allow you to share so many. And really, it seems a total waste to let them go. So don’t!

Belly up to your kitchen counter, pull out a few handy appliances, and make finished food items you can eat through the winter and your neighbors and co-workers are far more glad to take off of your hands now!

homemade pickles jar

HOMEMADE SWEET AND SPICY ENGLISH CUCUMBER PICKLES

Does your neighbor want 10 cucumbers? No! Does your neighbor want an adorable jar full of homemade pickles? Heck yes! Use any garden variety cuc to make these shockingly easy pickles. You’ll never want store-bought again. And in our experience, a generous batch will last you all the way to spring!

melon ball soup

TWO INGREDIENT MELON BALL SOUP

When the watermelon and cantaloupe runneth over, runneth it through the blender! Combine your favorite melons, add your choice of fresh herbs, and top with a goat or feta cheese to make the simplest chilled soup ever! We love ours at brunch.
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Pulp Fiction: Why My Misadventures in Juicing Left Me Feeling Terrible

carrot juice

By Cat Poland, a writer who shares her experiences with life and motherhood at Mom on the Range.

You know what’s cute? Baby bellies. Aren’t pregnant women adorable?

You know what’s not so cute? Baby bellies when you’re not pregnant. I’m not making a blanket statement about the size of other women’s bodies and what I think they should or shouldn’t look like. I’m talking solely about my own.

It’s annoying. Pants don’t fit well, and forget about wearing maxi dresses without getting “the look” from others. Is she, isn’t she? When a family member put her hand on my belly and asked if I had “news,” I lost it.

What if I did a juice fast? (Or cleanse, as some might call it.) I just wanted to look not so pregnant. And I was curious. Would I have renewed energy as some claimed? Would I cure my pesky battle with constipation (thank you, hormones). Would I feel rejuvenated?
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The Freshest Produce Picks for Early Summer: Here’s What’s Ripe in June

By Team Best Life 

Nothing says summer like a garden full of fresh vegetables or a farmers market bursting with juicy, in-season fruit. It’s hard to beat the taste of a just-picked sweet tomato or a fragrant strawberry. Whether you eat them plain or toss them into a favorite dish, they’re sure to be a real crowd-pleaser.

Ready to kick off the summer? Try one of our four favorite June produce picks:

broccoli

Broccoli.  If you grow your own in a garden, you’ll likely start to see small heads soon. For a more tender and mild taste, try to harvest the heads and leaves before they grow too large. Don’t have a green thumb? Look for small heads of broccoli at your local farmers’ market early in the season. Use them to whip up this Fresh Broccoli Salad, which makes for a healthy barbecue side dish.

 

raspberries

Raspberries.  You can get most berries year-round, but early season raspberries are especially delicious. Look for black raspberries, which are available in many parts of the country in June. In this Raspberry Pistachio Chickenthey make a tasty topping.
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