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Jim Gaffigan’s Hilarious Food Rules for Everyone Not to Live by

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Jim Gaffigan recently recently his second book entitled Food: A Love Story. Gaffigan, if you are unfamiliar with his brand of humor, is a hilarious, honest, satirical comedian. He previously wrote the book Dad is Fat, in which he reels on fatherhood with five young children. And in similar fashion in his newest release, Gaffigan has his readers rolling with his honest take on food. He says the things we all may be thinking, but we all may not be saying. Gaffigan explores everything from American food consumption to the questionable purpose of kale.

Though the entire book is quotable, we probably can’t republish it here. So we’re sharing a few of Gaffigan’s best food rules to abide by. (Or, to not abide by, but to at least laugh at.)

Jim Gaffigan’s Hilarious Food Rules for Everyone

1. Never take advice from skinny people.

“When a thin person announces, “Here’s a great taco place,” I kind of shut down a little. How do they know it’s so great? From smelling the tacos?”

Now maybe this isn’t fair. Of course there are plenty of skinny people who know great food when they taste it, and of course there are plenty of skinny people that like particular foods that other not-so-skinny people might also enjoy. The point is, Gaffigan’s point is hilarious.

2. Steak is a big deal.

“…because consuming a steak is one of the great pleasures we get to experience during our short time on this planet.”

Gaffigan describes his confusion toward his father’s love for steak as a child, though he touchingly concludes just why it was so important to him throughout his life. Steak can be particularly fancy, and I think we all know that.

3. Gravy is not a beverage.

Our eyes met, and he gave me a warm Midwestern smile as if to say, “Hey, how’s it going?” I nodded and said hello and was only a bit more than slightly tempted to exclaim, “You realize you’re drinking gravy, right?”

Gaffigan pokes a lot of fun at Midwesterners, a title he himself holds, and though I must add that not all Midwest-residents probably drink gravy, this story is too good to pass up. It’s one of the best LOL anecdotes in the entire book!
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How to Grill the Perfect Steak

When you envision a grilled steak, you typically imagine a huge, marbled cut of meat full of saturated fat and cholesterol. With the summer grilling season in full swing, it’s important to be able to enjoy your favorite foods in moderation.

Kari Underly of Range Partners is a third generation meat cutter and offered us some of her top tips on choosing and preparing the proper cuts of steak for your summer cookouts.

“It’s so important for grocery stores and chefs to know how to sell various cuts of steak,” said Underly. “The proper portion of steak is 3-4 ounces and a lot of cuts have multiple portions in one steak.  The average consumer has know way of knowing any better.”

High in zinc, iron and protein, a moderately sized steak is nutritionally dense and can be very good for you if you choose the right cut and cook it well.


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5 Balanced Dinner Menus to Fill Your MyPlate Icon

With the recent announcement that the food pyramid will be replaced by the new MyPlate icon, Americans are more aware than ever that it’s time to start eating their vegetables.

While the plate icon offers a visual, user-friendly guide to help people make better food choices, some of the 2010 Dietary Guidelines, like eating more fish, beans and whole grains, are not addressed.

Before you start cooking dinners based on MyPlate, keep the size of your plate in mind and check your portion sizes. According to the Mayo Clinic, reasonable portion sizes include:

  • One serving of protein should be three to six ounces (three for women, six for men) and about the size of a deck of playing cards.
  • One serving of whole grains should be the equivalent of one slice of bread, 1/3 cup brown rice or 1/2 cup whole-wheat pasta.
  • One serving of dairy is equivalent to an 8 ounce glass of milk or 1 ounce cheese (about the size of four dice).
  • One serving of fruit and vegetables should be approximately 1/2 cup cooked or 1 cup raw.


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Healthy Recipes for Memorial Day Parties

Memorial Day is one holiday almost everyone looks forward to. What’s not to love? The last Monday of every May, we honor our fallen U.S. soldiers and their families on a weekend when the weather starts to heat up in most parts on the country. Barbecues, camping trips and outdoor parties are how most people celebrate Memorial Day, the sunshine, and show their patriotism.

Memorial Day is tons of fun, but barbecues are notorious for being full of calorie and fat packed foods, so plan ahead. If you are taking advantage of the long weekend and going camping, indulging in 3 days worth of this indulgent food can really do some damage. If you are hosting, you have full control of the menu, but if you are a guest, bring your own “safe” dish that you know is healthy, and you already know the calories and fat per serving.

Whether you’re planning to usher in summer at the beach or with a backyard cookout, there are a lot of tempting, warmer-weather treats that might appeal to you no matter how much you want to stick to a healthy diet. Fend off cravings by making slimmer versions of your favorite meals and treats.


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Test Your Food Knowledge

MSNBC.com has an interesting food quiz posted online. Steak vs. salmon, apples vs. bananas… Test your knowledge of how these foods and others stack up against each other. You’re issued a score similar to a conventional school grade.