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Pizza Hut Takes Fast Food Too Far With New Cheeseburger Stuffed Crust Pizza

To say Pizza Hut is going a little overboard with their new stuffed-crust trend is a gross understatement. And the gross is implied in more ways than one. 

Still on the wake of rolling out their hot-dog stuffed crust pizza in the U.K., the fast food giant is staying on theme and introducing a entirely new variety of stuffed crust pizza: The Crown Crust, which got its name from its ‘crown-like’ appearance.

This new menu item features the customer’s choice of either mini cheeseburgers or chicken nugget-like ‘gems’ stuffed around the crust. The cheeseburger variety comes with beef, veggies, and Pizza Hut’s special sauce. And the chicken version comes with barbecue sauce and green peppers.

This new pizza is currently only available in the Middle East, and we hope it stays that way. The U.S. doesn’t need another fast food nightmare to fend off. We’re still coming to terms with the hot dog-stuffed pizza and Burger King’s Bacon Sundae – both of which took fast food to new epically disastrous proportions.
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Naan Crust Pizza with Homemade Cabernet Basil Pizza Sauce

There isn’t anything I don’t like about pizza. I like wood fire, NY style, grease bomb, and everything in between. You can hold the green bell peppers and onions, but otherwise I’ve never found a slice of pizza I didn’t like.

In the past year though, my favorite pizza is the one that I make. I’ve worked my homemade sauce to be just right, found a crust that is pretty perfect, and realized I don’t need a stitch of meat. Rather than give up pizza because it’s so unhealthy, I found a way to enjoy it on occasion because it’s not that bad for me.

I start with a whole grain naan, an Indian bread that is usually sold near your grocer’s bakery. The Stonefire brand is excellent (I find this at Kroger), and SuperTarget’s house brand is great, too. They usually come two to a pack and I try to keep at least one in the freezer at all times. You never know when it’s going to be the perfect night for pizza!
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Hot Dog Stuffed Pizza Takes Grotesque Restaurant Food Too Far

Restaurant industry, we have had enough! Are you deliberately trying to gross us out? Do you get a kick out of making grotesque concoctions in your test kitchens and then send them out to mass market as a punch line?

This Hot Dog Stuffed Crust pizza from Pizza Hut is about the nastiest thing we’ve seen come from a restaurant in quite a while. While we’re glad it’s not available in the U.S. (at least for now, just give it time), we feel for the residents of the United Kingdom being subjected to this culinary nonsense.

Jillian Michaels coined the term best when she started describing this over-processed junk “Frankenfoods,” meaning they resemble food but calling it that would be a disservice to all of the things that are actually food.

Dressed like any other pizza with cheese, pepperoni, peppers, and onions, the Hot Dog Stuffed Crust pizza has the slimy little sausage tucked inside the crust and comes with a free mustard drizzle. The chest pains for dessert and gastric bloat are also free.
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Empty Calories Comic: Vegetarian Diet Weight Gain

See more Empty Calories right here in the blog each week, or receive one each month when you subscribe to our free newsletter.


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Congress Claims Pizza is an Acceptable Vegetable for Our Kids

When I helped the first graders at my son’s school with their food group assignment recently, I was amazed at how many were confused about where to place types of food. So many didn’t know what a green bean was, or what strawberries were. Most were completely unaware that fish was a “meat.” It was disheartening and a good glimpse at the nutrition blunders our kids deal with. After hearing this morning’s news, things are going to get much more difficult. According to Congress, pizza will now be placed in the vegetable category.

Surely, I’m not alone in the jaw-drop response to this news. I re-read it just to make sure I was getting this right. But in clear print, the fact that school lunch pizzas contain tomato paste allows Congress to mark it as a vegetable, therefore keeping it on the menu multiple times a month in schools all over the country.

A congressional committee is responsible for this and other ridiculous staples being allowed to stay on our kids’ menus. As a fightback against the Obama administration’s proposal to make school lunches better and healthier for our kids, a bill was released late Monday entailing all the guidelines.
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