Tag Archives: humor

Jim Gaffigan’s Hilarious Food Rules for Everyone Not to Live by

food-love-story

Jim Gaffigan recently recently his second book entitled Food: A Love Story. Gaffigan, if you are unfamiliar with his brand of humor, is a hilarious, honest, satirical comedian. He previously wrote the book Dad is Fat, in which he reels on fatherhood with five young children. And in similar fashion in his newest release, Gaffigan has his readers rolling with his honest take on food. He says the things we all may be thinking, but we all may not be saying. Gaffigan explores everything from American food consumption to the questionable purpose of kale.

Though the entire book is quotable, we probably can’t republish it here. So we’re sharing a few of Gaffigan’s best food rules to abide by. (Or, to not abide by, but to at least laugh at.)

Jim Gaffigan’s Hilarious Food Rules for Everyone

1. Never take advice from skinny people.

“When a thin person announces, “Here’s a great taco place,” I kind of shut down a little. How do they know it’s so great? From smelling the tacos?”

Now maybe this isn’t fair. Of course there are plenty of skinny people who know great food when they taste it, and of course there are plenty of skinny people that like particular foods that other not-so-skinny people might also enjoy. The point is, Gaffigan’s point is hilarious.

2. Steak is a big deal.

“…because consuming a steak is one of the great pleasures we get to experience during our short time on this planet.”

Gaffigan describes his confusion toward his father’s love for steak as a child, though he touchingly concludes just why it was so important to him throughout his life. Steak can be particularly fancy, and I think we all know that.

3. Gravy is not a beverage.

Our eyes met, and he gave me a warm Midwestern smile as if to say, “Hey, how’s it going?” I nodded and said hello and was only a bit more than slightly tempted to exclaim, “You realize you’re drinking gravy, right?”

Gaffigan pokes a lot of fun at Midwesterners, a title he himself holds, and though I must add that not all Midwest-residents probably drink gravy, this story is too good to pass up. It’s one of the best LOL anecdotes in the entire book! (more…)

The 16 Most Hilariously Terrifying Holiday Fitness Stock Photos

holiday-stock-photos

I’d like to sit in on the photoshoot brainstorming where someone sees a need for poorly dressed, overly excitable models to pose for completely unrealistic holiday pictures. We’ve consolidated the 16 best (or worst) images (17 if you count the thumbs-up weight loss gal) so that you can join us in shuddering to some pure unadulterated what the Frosty is going on here confusion. Try to focus on happy sugar plums or sing a line of “Jingle Bells” if necessary…

 

Ho-ho-hold on a second. I don’t want anyone like this sliding down my chimney.

1 santa barbell

Because one creepy Santa photo isn’t enough.

3 santa weights

Help your kids eat more veggies by putting a terrifying Santa on top! A day’s worth of vitamins with a side of nightmares.

4 santa veggies (more…)

17 Most LOL Food and Fitness Puns, Featuring Michelle Obama

Sure, they’re super cheesy and a little overplayed at times, but you know you can’t help but crack a smile and a you-got-me laugh when the perfect pun comes along. With as heavy a scene as we all try to paint when it comes to our food and fitness, it feels good to look at all of it from the lighter side. And this week, we have first lady Michelle Obama to thank for the cunning reminder that puns, are in fact, fun!

Enjoy our favorite actual laugh out loud puns!

1. FLOTUS throws it down.

She’s nacho average first lady! #turnipforwhat

2. Oh my Quad, Becky!

…It’s like one of those rap guys girlfriends.

oh my quad becky

FitBottomedGirls

3. What the Kale?!

So many kale puns, so little time.

kale yeah (more…)

David Sedaris Is “Obsessed” With His FitBit

Fitness tracking technology is a great way to both stay motivated to get enough exercise, and track how well you’re doing. However, I think we all know a few people who take their fitness tracking to an extreme; doing anything in the name of adding extra steps to their daily count. Maybe they walk to the restroom more times than absolutely necessary or pace while brushing their teeth. Perhaps they always take the long way on a walk – no matter how much extra time it adds (or how late it makes their kids for school).

walking

Using a fitness tracker, like a Fitbit, can drive people a little crazy about tracking their activity. Writer David Sedaris takes an entertaining look at the obsession created by Fitbits in this article for The New Yorker.

“‘Every little bit helps,’ my old friend Dawn, who frequently eats lunch while hula-hooping and has been known to visit her local Y three times a day, said. She had a Fitbit as well, and swore by it. Others I met weren’t quite so taken…To people like Dawn and me, people who are obsessive to begin with, the Fitbit is a digital trainer, perpetually egging us on. During the first few weeks that I had it, I’d return to my hotel at the end of the day, and when I discovered that I’d taken a total of, say, twelve thousand steps, I’d go out for another three thousand.”

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7 Lessons Dr. Seuss Taught Us About Diet and Fitness

In the popular Dr. Seuss book Oh the Places You Will Go, he cautiously warns readers about the road ahead.

“I’m sorry to say so / but, sadly, it’s true / that Bang-ups / and Hang-ups / can happen to you… Be sure when you step. / Step with care and great tact / and remember that Life’s / a Great Balancing Act.”

You can apply his thoughts to your life in general, or break it down to summarize one particular area, like relationships, weight loss, work, or politics. “All things in moderation” is a common cliche, but one that rings true, especially when it comes to how we care for ourselves.

In light of the highly anticipated release of The Lorax on the big screen today, we thought we’d look at the lessons Dr. Seuss taught us about diet, fitness, and moderation. The messages weren’t always obvious, but we like to think they were subtly worked in to the whimsical stories.

View The Dr. Seuss Diet Slideshow

Also Read: The Very Hungry Caterpillar’s Diet

Stuff People Say in the Diet and Fitness Industry

Originating with a Twitter account owned by Graydon Sheppard and Kyle Humphrey, popularized through YouTube video and quickly generating a whole universe of spin-offs, the “Sh*t People Say” meme has proved to be a thoroughly entertaining phenomenon. Some may take offense, some may already think it’s played out, but we couldn’t resist sharing a few of the gems that apply to our work here at DietsInReview.

Stuff Foodies Say

Our love of real, unprocessed, organic foods here at DietsInReview is sure to cause a lot of people to stick most of us in the “foodie” category. Shopping at the farmers market or Whole Foods, participating in a CSA and obsessive back-of-package label reading are some of the key characteristics of the foodie. They typically love greens, local food and sustainable farming, and may also adopt more rigorous eating regimes, such as going vegetarian, raw, local, vegan, paleo or gluten-free.

One thing we’d like to add to the script:

“I only shop at perimeters of the grocery store.”

(more…)

Joke’s on Funny Man Jeremy Britt after a Bob Harper Workout on Biggest Loser 13

Jeremy Britt Wins Biggest Loser Season 13

By Dani M. Stone

Jeremy Britt admits he’s been heavy most of his life but he has always maintained an active lifestyle to offset his genetic predisposition. In the past he’s been involved in many sports claiming “I’m not the best at anything but I’m pretty good at just about everything that I try. . . well, besides working out.” Always known as the class clown and social comedian, Jeremy uses humor to deflect any comments about his weight, often bringing up the subject first before someone has the chance to cut him down. Jeremy landed a spot on Biggest Loser 13 with a walk-in casting call and quickly recruited his older sister Conda Britt to join him on the ranch.

Even though Jeremy, 22, had grown accustomed to being the “heavy kid” he was starting to see serious health-related issues in his family, including the death of his grandmother. He knew he needed to make a drastic change in his life. He describes his “a-ha moment” as the day he declined an invitation from a friend to go to the beach. He just couldn’t bear to take his shirt off in public. At 389 pounds, even hobbies he previously enjoyed, like golf, were becoming cumbersome. He still liked to play but only if it was a course that allowed carts. (more…)

Research Says Being Fat Makes You Happy

New research is suggesting that our characterization of St. Nicholas as a jolly elf with a belly that bounces like a bowl full of jelly when he laughs may be very accurate. laughingThat is not to say that ‘Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause;’ but rather the research is suggesting that those who have extra fat around their midsection get more pleasure out of deep belly laughs.

Laughing is good for you mentally and physically. Research has shown that laughing reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, elevates mood, increases immune system functioning, improves brain functioning, protects the heart, is relaxes your body and mind, increases energy, and helps you connect to others. Laughing can stimulate your brain, abdominal muscles, and dopamine receptors. The simple act of contorting facial muscles into the shape of a smile, stimulates your brain to release chemicals that make you feel happy; imagine the power of laughing.

There are many types of laughter: snickers, giggling, snorts, chuckles, guffaws, taunting, near hyperventilation, and belly laughs. Apparently not all laughs are created equal. What the research is suggesting is that to get the longest lasting effects and feelings of jolliness, one must laugh with an intensity that vibrates the fat pad that lies over the abdominal muscle wall. When your belly shakes like a bowl full of jelly, the vibrations extend and intensify the chemical effect of laughter.

If you would like to be as jolly as St. Nick, especially if you have a rounder belly, don’t hold back with your laughter. Allow your joy to be a full body experience and it will last long past the joke that you originally found entertaining. Learn more about this research at Happy April Fool’s Day from DietsInReview.com!

10 Holiday Diet Tips You Should Probably Ignore

I recently received one of those forward emails, and it was one of the few I actually took the time to open and read. I thought it would serve well as our Christmas post. We’ve shared a lot of holiday dieting advice to help get you through the season – hopefully you’ll be able to indulge today without thinking twice. By no means do we want to take some of these diet “tips” too seriously, but what fun is it if we can’t poke fun at ourselves or the situation sometimes? Happy holidays from all of us at DietsInReview.com.

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit.  In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls. Aren’t carrots for Easter?

2. Drink as much eggnog as possible. And quickly. It’s rare. You cannot find it any other time of year except now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it.  Have one for me. Have two.  It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. (more…)

Wordless Wednesday: Cupcake Thief

Maybe she still had some extra Weight Watchers Points available that day?