How many times have you watched The Biggest Loser or Dr. Phil’s Ultimate Weight Loss Race or even Oprah’s Biggest Loser episode while eating? We eat more when we are focused on something else, not paying attention to what we are doing, and not paying attention to our bodies. Why do you choose to watch these shows in the first place? Do you relate to the contestants? Are you on a similar journey? Are you looking for new ideas to help you along the path? Do you consider these shows to be more family-oriented entertainment than other shows on during prime time and want to communicate a healthy lifestyle to your children? What are you thinking when you make the choice to watch these shows?

What are you thinking when you choose to eat while viewing? Should I first be asking if you are thinking or perhaps it’s become a habit to watch and munch? When you reach for something to eat is it to enhance the experience, to treat yourself, for dinner; what is your motivation? How do you decide what to eat? Are you eating apple slices, toast, pasta, or ice cream? Are you making the choice based on nutritional value or ease in preparation in the short commercial break?

Are you thinking about the habits that make up your day? How does this line up with your goals? Are you thinking about what you’re thinking? What are you thinking?!?

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What are You Thinking When You Eat?

Overcome emotional overeating by managing inappropriate reactions to stress; solving problems rather than dwelling on them; changing self-defeating thoughts, since more often than not, feelings follow thoughts; gaining closure on unfinished emotional business; and learning new ways to cope without resorting to food

“Overcome emotional overeating.” Emotional overeating is using food to help you cope with difficult feelings or situations, or using comfort food or food ‘drugs’ to make you feel better.

“Managing inappropriate reactions to stress.” Food is not the right reaction to stress, but not eating isn’t an appropriate reaction either. The best response to a stressful situation is to utilize relaxation techniques and get yourself to the best state from which to address the issue.

“Solving problems rather than dwelling on them.” There are two important parts to this statement. It does you no good to dwell on a situation that may occur (worry) because it may not. When a negative situation does arise, don’t live there; find what you can do to make the situation better for yourself and do it. At times, you may be able to completely resolve the issue; at other times, you can resolve yourself to survive it.

“Changing self-defeating thoughts, since more often than not, feelings follow thoughts.” To utilize REBT, you need to first become aware of your thoughts and feelings, learn the difference between them, and dispute your irrational thoughts to come to a more helpful truth.

“Gaining closure on unfinished emotional business.” We all have unfinished emotional business to varying degrees, and we are all aware of it to varying degrees as well. None of us have arrived; no one is fully actualized, so we all have room for growth. I believe the concern here is in the extent to which it is interfering with your daily living and adding to your stress. Food and weight can be used to avoid many issues. Dr. Phil is instructing, instead, to face these head on until you can find some peace. At times, this requires the help of a professional coach or therapist. Utilize all resources available to you to discover as much peace as possible.

“Learning new ways to cope.” There are numerous options available to you to help you cope in a way that is helpful and in line with your goals. Common suggestions include seeking support, exercising, journaling, and meditating.

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Healing Feelings from Dr. Phil’s Keys to Weight Loss

The majority of first dates include food. Men buy food on dates to demonstrate that they can provide, and it gives us something to do with our nervous hands, a reason to pause and consider what you will say while your mouth is full, and something to look at to avoid eye contact. The majority of our social contacts include food in some form.  We share food to nurture one another; it is a way to say ‘I care about you, your comfort, and your health’. Also, as we mentioned, food is a powerful drug that can impact us physically and emotionally. The emotional aspects, seem to be Dr. Phil’s primary concern in how food may be misused. It’s when we start using food as a drug or a filler than it becomes a problem; that’s when our calories become empty.

According to Dr. Phil’s quiz Are You An Emotional Eater, I would venture that nearly all of us at least have “room for improvement”. Personally, I think there is a balance and you can still make smart choices without limiting yourself socially or completely ignoring your body’s cravings. Even chocolate has researched benefits on mood, but eating a tub of rocky road is not going to be helpful in the short term or the long term.

However, in general, we need to over-learn something new before we can find the workable balance. You have to create healthy habits before you can find exceptions. The problem that Dr. Phil is highlighting is when food is your main (or only) coping technique.

Rather than eating when sad, lonely, uncomfortable, or anxious, consider these tried and true coping skills:

Seek Support – find a friend or confidant and share your stressors or just find something to laugh about.

Journaling – even if no one else is available, you can always take a deeper look at your own thoughts, and maybe talk yourself into a new state of mind, by writing down what you are thinking and what is bothering you.

Exercise – Research has shown that nothing relieves stress more than physical exercise. When you exercise, your brain secretes several nuerochemicals, including serotonin, which may be the reason you are craving chocolate in the first place, endorphins, which have an opiate-like effect of pain-relief and mood elevation, dopamine, and norepinephine. Symptoms of depression, anxiety, impulsivity, aggression, and increased appetite have been linked to deficiencies of these neurochemicals.

Positive distraction – If you’re stressed, take a break and watch a movie or take a bath or do something else to take care of yourself or take your mind off of what is bothering you.

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Eat to Live, Don’t Live to Eat

Dr. Phil’s video message reminded the contestants that this is a competition, but they will be required to work together to succeed as he asked them to decide on a “house leader”. The teams determined Tiffany would make a good “house leader” and perhaps a house mother.

The next day, the teams headed to Malibu for a beach workout. If you’re lucky enough to live near a beach or visit one on vacation, remember that working out in the sand can increase your difficulty. Each trainer used the environment in a different way to workout their team. The contestants were given a Mio heart rate monitor to help them track the intensity level of their workouts.

Dr. Phil made an entrance by helicopter to talk with the contestants about his second Key to Weight Loss, “Healing Feelings”. He compared food to a drug like heroin when used as a comfort. Food has a physical impact on our bodies, not just in providing calories and energy, but food can warm you up, cool you down, wake you up. Food can be powerful and too many people are using it like a drug. In a typical Dr. Phil statement, he asks the contestants that if you’re hungry you don’t read a book, so why would it make sense to eat when you’re hurt. He instructs the competitors not to deny themselves food, to eat when they are hungry, but to eat the right things, and stop using food for anything but nutrition. He states that his plan is about lifestyle realignment and is not a diet.

Dr. Phil spoke to three of the teams about the emotional issues that have been driving their struggles with weight. He called out Lauren (blue team) for interrupting her brother and made Phil (green team) look at his treatment of his wife Tiffany as if he was a stranger calling his wife hurtful names. Although the interactions of the blue and green teams were intense, my favorite segment was with the brothers of the orange team. Richard admitted that when upset he sits alone in a parking lot to hide the fact that he is eating fast food. He also shared that he missed saying goodbye when his father died because he was in the army, missed his grandmother’s funeral due to work, and has not allowed himself to grieve. Dr. Phil created an emotional moment between the brothers asking Jeff to tell Richard how he would feel if he lost him too due to his unhealthy habits. Jeff had a hard time maintaining eye contact but it seemed like he got the message across to his brother anyway. Dr. Phil used the location, asking Richard to draw a line in the sand and make a change today.

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Dr. Phil’s Line in the Sand