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Jim Gaffigan’s Hilarious Food Rules for Everyone Not to Live by

food-love-story

Jim Gaffigan recently recently his second book entitled Food: A Love Story. Gaffigan, if you are unfamiliar with his brand of humor, is a hilarious, honest, satirical comedian. He previously wrote the book Dad is Fat, in which he reels on fatherhood with five young children. And in similar fashion in his newest release, Gaffigan has his readers rolling with his honest take on food. He says the things we all may be thinking, but we all may not be saying. Gaffigan explores everything from American food consumption to the questionable purpose of kale.

Though the entire book is quotable, we probably can’t republish it here. So we’re sharing a few of Gaffigan’s best food rules to abide by. (Or, to not abide by, but to at least laugh at.)

Jim Gaffigan’s Hilarious Food Rules for Everyone

1. Never take advice from skinny people.

“When a thin person announces, “Here’s a great taco place,” I kind of shut down a little. How do they know it’s so great? From smelling the tacos?”

Now maybe this isn’t fair. Of course there are plenty of skinny people who know great food when they taste it, and of course there are plenty of skinny people that like particular foods that other not-so-skinny people might also enjoy. The point is, Gaffigan’s point is hilarious.

2. Steak is a big deal.

“…because consuming a steak is one of the great pleasures we get to experience during our short time on this planet.”

Gaffigan describes his confusion toward his father’s love for steak as a child, though he touchingly concludes just why it was so important to him throughout his life. Steak can be particularly fancy, and I think we all know that.

3. Gravy is not a beverage.

Our eyes met, and he gave me a warm Midwestern smile as if to say, “Hey, how’s it going?” I nodded and said hello and was only a bit more than slightly tempted to exclaim, “You realize you’re drinking gravy, right?”

Gaffigan pokes a lot of fun at Midwesterners, a title he himself holds, and though I must add that not all Midwest-residents probably drink gravy, this story is too good to pass up. It’s one of the best LOL anecdotes in the entire book!
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Rick Ross Boasts 100 Pound Weight Loss, Gives Thanks to the Pear

Rick Ross Weight Loss

In case you have missed it, rapper Rick Ross has lost over 100 pounds in the past year, and he is crediting his success to one main thing: pears! Ross has recently been very open about his love for pears, literally causing an increase in the fruit’s popularity in America.

“I eat pears now…” Ross proudly claims in an interview. “Shout out to all the pear.”

That simple statement in an interview with Tim Westwood has gained more than 300,000 views on YouTube and spawned an equally popular Vine video.


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Richard Simmons Reveals Knee Injury as Reason for a Nearly Year-Long Hiatus

Life is hard, and no one is immune to its difficulties. Not even the most happy-go-lucky man alive. Richard Simmons, the world’s most renowned fitness instructor, fell off the radar nearly a year ago and people have been asking questions. Rumors regarding his whereabouts and the reason for his absence have been swirling all week, with news outlets reporting that he has been struggling with personal issues as a result of a knee injury. Sources close to the fitness superstar say that he needs to have a left knee replacement, and he confirmed his struggles on social media today.

“I have had a tough time dealing with this injury, as it is keeping me from doing what I truly love to do and that is to teach classes around the world,” Richard posted on Facebook.

And while he wasn’t available for a comment today, his Twitter account has been vocal in his gratitude for the support he’s found.

 

He is known across the globe for his love of fitness and his ability to make it fun. He is a health and fitness guru, and he has changed the lives of millions of people, including mine.
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Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off and 1988 Aerobics Championship is the Best Music-Workout Video Ever Made

Thank you to whomever is responsible for this incredible video mash-up because it’s basically the only thing we want to watch or listen to right now!

You guys, this is a real thing that happened: the 1988 Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship Opening. It’s fabulous. It’s everything we tried to block out about the 80s and yet it’s everything we wish could still exist.

1988-Crystal-Light-National-Aerobic-Championship-Opening

Over that video that someone salvaged from a dark, cold place where old aerobics go to die — Taylor Swift. That sick beat from her explosive new hit Shake It Off was seemingly written precisely for this aerobics routine nearly 30 years late.

It’s some Back to the Future time warp stuff we’re trying to wrap our heads around.
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Kevin Smith Unrecognizable After Weight Loss, Inspired by Fed Up

kevin smith before and after

As a nation, we clamor for the latest news on the latest celebrity baby bumps and shocking plastic surgeries. So when a Hollywood icon loses a lot of weight, you can bet every anchor on InsideTMZAccessEdition will be covering it. And yeah, we are, too. So why isn’t anyone talking about Kevin Smith? Well, we are!

The talented producer, writer, actor and self-described “goofy spaz” recently lost 20+ pounds, but unlike shaving his trademark beard and mustache (pictured below) it wasn’t for a movie. During a radio interview with the Todd-N-Tyler Radio Empire, the cult-classic filmmaker talked about his weight loss.

“I watched this documentary called Fed Up and it scared me,” he said. “It was the scariest thing I’ve seen on film. It broke down the process of storing sugar in the body in a way that I had never understood previously.”


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