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Jim Gaffigan’s Hilarious Food Rules for Everyone Not to Live by

food-love-story

Jim Gaffigan recently recently his second book entitled Food: A Love Story. Gaffigan, if you are unfamiliar with his brand of humor, is a hilarious, honest, satirical comedian. He previously wrote the book Dad is Fat, in which he reels on fatherhood with five young children. And in similar fashion in his newest release, Gaffigan has his readers rolling with his honest take on food. He says the things we all may be thinking, but we all may not be saying. Gaffigan explores everything from American food consumption to the questionable purpose of kale.

Though the entire book is quotable, we probably can’t republish it here. So we’re sharing a few of Gaffigan’s best food rules to abide by. (Or, to not abide by, but to at least laugh at.)

Jim Gaffigan’s Hilarious Food Rules for Everyone

1. Never take advice from skinny people.

“When a thin person announces, “Here’s a great taco place,” I kind of shut down a little. How do they know it’s so great? From smelling the tacos?”

Now maybe this isn’t fair. Of course there are plenty of skinny people who know great food when they taste it, and of course there are plenty of skinny people that like particular foods that other not-so-skinny people might also enjoy. The point is, Gaffigan’s point is hilarious.

2. Steak is a big deal.

“…because consuming a steak is one of the great pleasures we get to experience during our short time on this planet.”

Gaffigan describes his confusion toward his father’s love for steak as a child, though he touchingly concludes just why it was so important to him throughout his life. Steak can be particularly fancy, and I think we all know that.

3. Gravy is not a beverage.

Our eyes met, and he gave me a warm Midwestern smile as if to say, “Hey, how’s it going?” I nodded and said hello and was only a bit more than slightly tempted to exclaim, “You realize you’re drinking gravy, right?”

Gaffigan pokes a lot of fun at Midwesterners, a title he himself holds, and though I must add that not all Midwest-residents probably drink gravy, this story is too good to pass up. It’s one of the best LOL anecdotes in the entire book!
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The Goodbun: A Fast Food Revolution

Alec Fernandez and Daniel del Campo, two young, innovative gentleman from Miami, Florida, have a grand plan: to revolutionize the fast food industry as we know it. Ferndandez and del Campo fully understand the struggles of balancing a jam-packed schedule and eating healthy on the fly because, let’s face it: sometimes, the only option is to grab food on the go. Their idea is to create better options for Americans who need to occasionally rely on fast food.

On a recent Nielsen survey, the number one reason people choose fast food is to save time. People are literally claiming to not have the right time to eat healthfully, and that is something that we have to change. The duo acknowledges that there is no real good-for-you-fast-food choice. Until now.
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8 Sinless Game Day Recipes for the Denver Broncos Fan

The words healthy eating and football food aren’t exactly synonymous. When you think of your typical game day fare, foods like buffalo wings, pizza, and nachos come to mind. In Colorado, we’re all about keeping a healthy lifestyle. The Centennial state has been named the thinnest state in the U.S. for several years in a row—but that doesn’t mean that we don’t like to indulge every now and then! It’s definitely possible to create some healthy alternatives using some of the ingredients that Colorado is known for, including green chiles, lean game meats, and even beer!

Since the Denver Broncos have made it to the big game this year, Coloradoans have something even more special to celebrate! Here are eight great recipes that include everything that Colorado does best.

These winners are sure to please the palate of the biggest Denver fans:

bisonburger

Bison Sliders
Bison has quickly gained popularity as one of the best burger making proteins. It’s a healthier alternative to beef and has the same delicious flavor. Blair from the Cookin’ Skinny blog shows you how to make the most delicious sliders that will please every beef lover at your table.

Denver Scrambled Eggs
Start off the morning of the big day with this take on the famous Denver omelet. Also known as the western omelet, this dish is believed to have been named by cooks working on the transcontinental railroad (but no one really knows!). This lighter version of the classic breakfast is simple to make, big in flavor, and can easily be enjoyed any time of day.
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The 11 Most Criminal Examples of Food Gone Too Far

Have you ever seen a picture or video of food that made you sick just from looking at it? That’s what happened when we saw a video from the Travel Channel’s popular show Man v. Food. The dish was so piled with meats, cheeses, sauces, and who knows what else, it could no longer be identified as food.

We know that food challenges aren’t the only culprit when it comes to shameful servings, so we decided to come up with a rap sheet for the worst food felons. Here’s our Most Wanted list of top culinary criminals starting with the simply overindulgent and ending with the disgustingly gluttonous.

green tea latte

Wanted for: Imitating a Healthy Beverage – Green Tea Latte
Starting off our list is the deceptive Green Tea Latte from Starbucks. Getting a venti (20 oz.) of this beverage with whole milk will cost you 500 calories and 71 grams of sugar. So much for the idea of green tea always being a healthy choice.

disney ice cream sandwiches

Wanted for: Ridiculous Use of Sugar – Ice Cream Sandwiches
Disney, it’s a happy, magical place. It’s also a place where you can get ice cream sandwiches as big as your face. The two homemade chocolate chip cookies and three heaping scoops of ice cream are delicious, but I speak from experience when I say you’ll have sugar shakes and nausea for hours after eating.


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13 Yummiest Must-Eat Recipes of 2013

It’s time to get listicle, kids! It’s the end of the year and we’re gearing up for the barrage of end-of-year lists. We’re part of the problem, or maybe it’s the solution. Either way, we have no shame! We love a good year-end roundup. It makes for fun memory-making, a time to reconcile and take stock of the year. And in the case of this list in particular – eat the best stuff around.

In order from #1 to #13, we’re sharing the recipes that YOU ranked as most popular this year. Eat visit counted as a vote. Let this be your recipe guide for year-end celebrations and new year resolutions.

Healthy, fun, simple, indulgent, and satisfying – these are the must-eat recipes of 2013!

Oatmeal Cookie Sandwiches - Mashed banana, flax seed and agave nectar keep these childhood treats moist and delicious, but still healthy.

Healthy Oatmeal Cookie Sandiches Recipe

Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Waffles – Waffles should come out of an iron, not a box. This recipe doubles easily for holiday house guests.

Cinnamon Apple Oat Waffles


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